death

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Saturday – Cancel the coronation

The closest people to me that I have lost have been my grandparents, and my wife’s parents. My grandma died when I was in college, my wife’s mom and dad when I was in my twenties, and my other three grandparents passed away when I was in my thirties. Even though I was in different stages of life, and their deaths all happened in different ways, and we experienced each differently - I had a similar circumstance during each one.…

silence, weeping, death, sadness, Holy Saturday, the end of hope

Saturday – The world will never be the same – Pt. 1 (He is dead)

He is dead. There is nothing in this world that is as sudden AND permanent as death. Many things happen quickly. There is also an abundance of things that are permanent. But the combination of the two is especially brutal. Death packs the two punch. It kicks you in the gut, removes all hope from your heart, messes with your mind - all while seemingly sucking the life right out of your soul. It drags you down, and you do…

Let there be strawberry jello…

My Grandma Steffen makes the best strawberry jello you’ll ever eat. Her name is Arlene, and if you promise not to tell, I’ll share half her secret with you. She makes it with extra love, and puts cool whip on the top. For years and years, my brother and I have been skipping the “real” part of holiday and birthday meals, and getting the jump on the rest of our family by going straight to the jello. If you’ve ever…

Goodbyes and Bike Rides

I didn’t see it coming. I was on our couch cuddling with my son Tuesday morning when I got a call from my aunt, informing me that within the hour my grandfather had passed. Adrenaline took over, and within a few seconds I was talking to my mom and letting her know I was on my way into town to help. The rest of the day seemed like every other day I have spent in similar circumstances (of which there…

Good Friday

Dead. There are few words like it. But that’s what he was. Dead. The man who had once brought life to so many, both spiritually and physically. The man who had convinced others to give their lives to God in ways they never thought possible. The man who had promised the coming a new kingdom they would all be a part of, was dead. Not that most of them were there to see it. All but John had run away,…

Humans, we have a problem

There are not many things in the first world that compare to bailing “dirtied” water out of your sons toilet because he has put an entire roll of toilet paper into it and flushed. I would know. After about an hour of plunging I decided that wasn’t going to work, and so I moved on to the ‘Plumber MAXX.’ When that started bubbling almost to the point of unintentional evacuation, I decided that an ice cream bucket ‘bailing’ system was…

if it doesn’t break your heart, it isn’t love

Sometimes the things that you don’t see coming change you the most. I guess it only makes sense, if you saw them coming you’d probably be more ready for them or something. I’d made kind of a habit of making sure I saw things coming. My whole life I’d played things safe, not gotten too far outside of my comfort zone, made sure that if life was happening it was happening on my terms. Looking back at it I’m actually…

exhale

When you are young you take certain things for granted. At least I did. Things that some people fight and pray for, most people don’t even think about. Things like breathing. It’s actually a rather complex bodily function when it comes down to it, but most of us can go through an entire day without even thinking about it. Then, in an instant, life can take your breath away. Things that once seemed normal now require almost superhuman effort. Things…